Wednesday, October 23, 2024
Dear CLC and Willow Glen leaders,
I believe one of the most honorable things we humans can do is own our mistakes, take responsibility for our actions and work to repair any damage we may have intentionally or unintentionally caused.
Christians love to talk about humility, but when it comes down to it, we often squirm around trying to avoid it. So far, I’ve seen a lot squirming from the CLC elders and Willow Glen leaders and not a lot of humility.
I am astounded that RV2 was denied access to Zoom into a CLC meeting that was about HER abuse. She was forced to travel internationally at her own expense. I’m convinced at least some of the CLC elders didn’t want her there and didn’t think she would actually make the trip if they said she could only attend in person.
I am angry that a second meeting was scheduled for after she left. In that meeting, elders listened to congregants and former leaders doubting and dismissing the GRACE report without taking any clear stand to defend victims. This is a perfect example of why CLC has a culture where predators thrive and victims stay silent. While I appreciated the words of Tim LeCroy, it felt like he was just there to say what the CLC leaders didn’t have the guts to say.
Even worse, they evaded questions about whether Larry got a job driving a school bus for Amish children after moving to PA. Given the vague answers, it seems reasonable to assume the rumor is true. Perhaps the elders have known Larry still had access to children for a long time and didn’t want to admit they did nothing about it until after the GRACE report was published.
Earlier this year, a dear friend of mine pointed out that the elders of CLC felt they couldn’t really know anything since they hadn’t heard directly from me. I told this friend it sounded like an excuse to me and that the elders had done absolutely nothing to make me feel safe approaching them.
Can’t know anything? I still don’t understand how grown adults could think the NYS police has time and money to investigate claims of “inappropriate affection” from 17+ years ago when there are untested rape kits sitting in police departments across the nation! I still don’t understand why some leaders, who knew my identity, often pretended like they didn’t while other leaders carelessly revealed it.
Right action has been taken in hiring GRACE and making the report public, but only with a lot of prodding from community members. It’s too little, too late. While I appreciate the public apology and believe it is a step in the right direction, my feelings haven’t changed. To this day CLC elders and Willow Glen leaders have made no attempts to reach out to me personally. So far, this all looks like self-preservation to me, not genuine humility.
I would like to remind you that, “the reward of humility and the fear of the Lord are riches, honor and life.” If you want honor, avoiding responsibility, sugarcoating the truth and dancing around the hard questions isn’t the way to get it.
I know what great evil humans are capable of. I live with the effects of that evil in my own body every single day. It has crippled every area of my life. Yet, I still believe that we are capable of even greater goodness. We are capable of courage and compassion that has the power to undo evil. I’ve seen it in the way my husband has given everything he is and has for my healing, at great cost to his own comfort and freedom.
I’ve seen it in RV2 who didn’t back down when the CLC elders denied her access to the meeting via Zoom. She actually walked into The Barn that holds her awful memories and told her story to a room full of skeptical people. I was floored by her courage.
I’ve seen it in my parents who have not shied away from the ugly truth. They have chosen to wrestle with their own blind spots and failures so they could stand with me and support me. They have chosen love over avoiding pain.
You also have the opportunity to make this choice. Tell us you didn’t believe us until the report came out. Tell us you were struggling with feelings of loyalty and sympathy towards Larry. Tell us you were overwhelmed by the implications of admitting your community enabled a child predator to abuse children for 30+ years. Tell us you couldn’t stand the discomfort of feeling complicit. Tell us you were worried this revelation would force you to close your doors for good. Tell us you were hoping it was all a big misunderstanding. Tell us the truth. Whatever it is. The victims deserve the truth.
I said it in my letter to Mr. Cleek and I’ll say it again, I’m not interested in destroying anyone. I am interested in protecting children from sexual abuse. I am interested in justice and healing for everyone involved.
As you can imagine, emerging from a childhood and adolescence formed within a web of spiritual and sexual abuse lends itself to a great deal of confusion and pain. I have often wondered, am I even a Christian?
My answer is: I want to be. I want to believe that the cross of unjust humiliation can become the place of greatest triumph and resurrection. I want to believe that the most powerful Being in the universe is also the gentlest. I want to believe in Christ, the God who suffers with us.
How about you? Do you believe?
Do you believe in the God who says that humility comes before honor? Do you believe in Christ who tells us to count the cost, take up our cross and follow him?
Show us. For the sake of all the victims still suffering in silence, show us.
It’s never too late to do the right thing. I will never stop hoping for the goodness of humanity, made in the image of a compassionate God, to outshine the evil Larry perpetrated on the souls of innocent children in the CLC community.
If you won’t join us in this mission of healing the wounds of abuse in this community, then yes, I will be doing a happy dance when the doors of CLC and Willow Glen Christian School close for good.
Sincerely,
RV1
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